Summertime Groaners

Sorry, I couldn’t resist this collection of real estate jokes from

Forgive me! …& Enjoy:

All afternoon a real estate agent had been showing a young couple empty houses. The ones they loathed always seemed to be available, but others had already snapped up the ones that struck their fancy. Finally they came to a house at the very edge of town and fell in love with it.
“Please,” they begged, “tell us that this one we can have.”
“It’s yours,” beamed the agent. “It’s last …. but not leased!”

While showing a home to a young mother and her 4 year old daughter, the child kept insisting that we leave. We performed the obvious routine of exploring the bedrooms, the basement and opening closet doors. Finally the little girl looked at her mother and said, “Mommie, we better get out of here before they come home and find us!”

A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said “Rest in Peace”. The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new home”.

If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.

Houses today don’t have enough closet space. Sure they do. They’re just called guest bedrooms.

Realtor sign–We have “lots” to be thankful for.

The sellers said their house was near the water. It was in the basement.

A home buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he’d still be there today if the Governor hadn’t pardoned him!

Trivia: The floors of buildings are called stories because early European builders used to paint picture stories on the sides of their houses. Each floor had a different story.

“A lot of homes have been spoiled by inferior desecrators.”–Frank Lloyd Wright

The house is only 5 minutes from shopping . . .if you’ve got an airplane.

House problem: The oven is self-cleaning, but the kids aren’t.

Our new house has one down payment and 240 darn payments!